Marriage

Rewrite Your Vows

January 17, 2018 By Eva Conner 1 Comment

Chasing Hard and Running on Empty

Rewrite your vows!

Here is a word that I received in my spirit during prayer time this morning. This word makes me weep with joy and also with sadness for all the glory and awesomeness we miss because we’re too busy chasing the here and now.

This word is for all of us because we all have moments when we are not chasing hard after the only thing in this temporary land that matters – the eternal. This word makes me sad because we have things so backward and wrong in this world compared to what God truly wants for us. What Jesus died to give us. Here is what He spoke:

I desire to shower you with lavish gifts. I love you as a Bridegroom loves His bride. I AM your Bridegroom. I wish to take care of you in a way that you never have to fear. In a way that you never live in lack or want of anything.

This is the vow that I SPEAK to you:

I, Jesus, take you, my beloved, to be my lawfully wedded bride, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better and never for worse, in richness and never in poorness, in health and never in sickness, forever, not even death can separate us.

I chase after you always.

But you don’t see Me. You don’t look My way. You chase after things that will never bring you wholeness and fulfillment. You look to one another to bring you things that only I CAN.

When will you look to Me? What will it take for you to see me standing here? How long before You accept my vows of marriage?

In this time of prayer and meditation, He brought back memories of new romantic relationships ~ courtships. He brought back those sweet memories of dating and the excitement that came with the newness of the relationship. The memories of wanting to do something nice for that other person who suddenly became so very important to you. The heart to shower them with gifts to show your love. This is what He brought to my heart this morning.

The tenderness, sweetness and innocence that exists in the closeness.

Jesus feels these things for us. He wants to shower us with His good and perfect gifts. He desires for us to rest in that tender, sweet innocence with Him. And He desires for us to not just rest for the moment but to settle in to it. To get comfy and put our feet up and stay there! Jesus is not just our comforter and protector. HE IS COMFORT. HE IS PROTECTION. These things to Him are tangible and part of his DNA that cannot be separated from Him.

He is standing there with His arms stretched out just for you.

Do you see Him there? Do you sense His excitement and eagerness to love you and lavish His goodness on you?

This word completely unglues me even as I am experiencing it again as I type these words. And this is just a mere shadow of what we’ll experience with Him in eternity.

So why do we fight against it? Why do we twist and distort His Word by bringing it down to what we can comprehend and explain?

What He showed me when He spoke the wedding vows is that the vows we speak when we marry our spouses are completely opposite of what He wants us to speak.

Man-made vows speak of illness, poverty and death.

The vows that are most commonly used today are rooted in religion ~ from man. You can do a Google search and find the origins are rooted in the medieval church in England. What you cannot find are the vows in Scripture with one exception. Ironically, the one part of the vow that you can find in the Bible is the piece that most people omit because they find it offensive – for the wife to vow that she will obey her husband.

For centuries, has no one asked where these vows came from? Who wrote them and were they inspired by God to do so? If someone were to say they were inspired by God to write these vows, why do they not line up with Scripture?

These are questions I’m asking myself after hearing Jesus clearly speak His vows to me this morning. He clearly denounced the “sickness, poverty and death” words that currently exist in our vows.

Jesus died on the cross for us a broken man so that we could be whole. He died in lack so that we could walk in abundance. His Word clearly states that death is not final. God desires for us to walk in the fullness of Jesus Christ. And that fullness is not sickness, poverty and death. That fullness is total wholeness in all areas of our lives with abundant fruit and gifts.

Wholeness and nothing less is what Jesus died to give us.

We need to rewrite the vows! The wedding vows must be modeled after the love of Christ and the truth of Christ. They must include grace, complete surrender, covenant bonds of undying love. UNDYING love – not death.

We need to stop watering down the Word of God to accommodate our limited, finite thinking. The minute we begin logically explaining who God is, is the minute we should fall to our knees and repent of idolatry. For when we put God within the limits of our thinking, we are creating a false god to worship.

God is outside the limits of our thinking.

He is SO incomprehensibly huge and powerful that we cannot possibly know anything about Him other than what He’s chosen to reveal to us.

The minute we start putting God in the confines of our mind is the minute we begin rationalizing why there is sickness, poverty and death in our world. It’s okay to not have answers to life’s tough questions. What’s not okay is to try to wrap theological doctrine around not having answers. God is a God who will hide things from us in order for us to search them out. And when we search for the things of God, He is so good to show them to us.

Rewrite your vows today.

Speak life, health and wholeness into your marriage. Take out those things that are not of God. Seek Him above all things and He will show You all things. Don’t stop there either. Rewrite your vows with God. Ask Him to scrub your heart clean and purify you in His Word. His Word is cleansing and it will reveal to you all the things you are searching for in this life. His Word will reveal Jesus from front to back.

Chase hard after Jesus.

He chases after us and pursues us with a self-discipline we know nothing about. He is intentional about US. Let’s get intentional and self-disciplined about HIM.

HE IS all things.

Period. Nothing less than ALL things. And in Him we find our fulfillment and all of our emptiness is suddenly gone.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate fulfillment center.

He wants to be the center of your life. Will you let Him? It’s a decision we make that will alter the course of our life for eternity.

Time is short. Total surrender to Jesus is the only way to live the few short years we have on this planet. You see, this life is not what it’s about. This life is but a mere test for eternity.

I remember as a child I would often lay on my back in the grass staring up at the clouds, trying to think about eternity. I use the word “trying” because eternity is so big that it’s hard to grasp. It’s hard to fully get your mind wrapped around what “forever” means. No end at all. Compare 70 or 90 years to forever. It’s hardly any comparison at all.

When we shift our thinking from temporal to eternal, we find a lot of things in this world that once seemed huge and insurmountable become like mountains that can be cast into the sea.

This is the word for you and for me today.

Rewrite your vows and chase hard after Jesus.

He is waiting and He longs to lavish us with gifts and love.

Stay in the Light and Love always,

Eva

Marriage – Lessons Learned

November 28, 2017 By Eva Conner 1 Comment

10 Godly Words for all Marriages

The Good, the bad and the ugly.

Marriage can be wonderful. But let’s be honest. I’m sure you would agree that there are some downright bad and ugly times as well.

I’ve been married 25 years and I’m not sure I would change one thing in our past, even if I could.

Our past is what defines our present.

Sometimes we need to experience the bad and the ugly along with the good to grow. This is true in our walk with Jesus as well. The bad and the ugly have to come to the surface for the good to take over.

Sharing our testimony is what defeats the enemy.

I’m sharing some truths I’ve learned in my own journey. The Word tells us that we should share our story with others to defeat the enemy. When we are transparent in our own lives, it helps unlock others to freedom in Christ Jesus.

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony.
Revelation 12:11

1. Invite Jesus into your marriage.

If you want a successful marriage, you must have Jesus in your life. He needs to be the foundation on which you build your marriage. Without Jesus in our lives, we are self-centered, selfish people. And it is extremely difficult for two self-centered, selfish people to exist in love and unison.

2. After our personal relationship with God, put your spouse first in your life.

Your husband needs to come before your children. And your husband needs to come before yourself. I know this goes against what the world will tell you but it is so important. I learned the hard way. Yes, children need us moms. But more importantly than that, children need to see mom and dad love each other. They need that security. And your husband needs that security as well. He needs to know he matters.

3. Let go of the pettiness.

In the grand scheme of life, does the way someone leaves little piles of clutter in their wake really matter? Learn early to put things in perspective. I learned a little late that my house was always going to be messy. Having a house ready for the magazine cover is just not realistic or important. If you stop by for a visit, you’re always welcome but just know that you’re going to see shoes in the foyer, dirty dishes in my sink and newspapers and magazines on the table. And I’m okay with that. I made peace with it a long time ago and I no longer feel the need to apologize for our clutter. Messiness is part of life. Get used to it early.

4. Make time to sit on the porch together.

Make time for the small things. No TVs, no smart phones, no computers, no distractions. Just you and your man sitting in the quiet listening to the birds chirping and talking about whatever comes up. Even when there are dinner dishes in the sink, dirty clothes to wash, lunches to pack. Remember, there are always going to be chores for us to do. But with life’s hectic pace, we do not always have that quiet together time. When you can snatch a moment, do so.

5. Hold hands and hug often.

Do not underestimate the importance of physical contact. Even just holding hands. It matters. Every day after the craziness of the work day is over, my husband gives me a hug before we start our evening. I have to admit that he is the one who takes the initiative to give me a hug every day and it makes me feel very cherished and loved.

6. Be a good listener.

Truly listen when he talks. We all like to be heard. Be a good listener. Don’t be distracted with the noise of the world around you. Be focused solely on your spouse.

7. Be his cheerleader.

Encourage him to follow his dreams. Don’t fear the future. Fear can be a barrier that you erect in your marriage without even realizing it. If your spouse has a dream that requires major change in your lives, take it to your prayer closet. Ask God to show you what you need to do. We need to be open to new ideas even if they bring a little fear to our hearts.

8. Be his companion and best friend.

When he asks you to go for a ride to see the leaves, go. When he asks you to go with him to Lowes or Home Depot to pick up a tool he needs to finish a project, go. It’s important to spend time together even if it is running errands. Don’t get in a bad habit of going your own way. That can never bring the closeness that God intends for a husband and wife to have.

9. Choose love.

Love is a choice we make. Sometimes we have to make that choice daily ~ sometimes hourly. When we are in a new relationship, it is so exciting and new. Emotions are fresh and alive. But that wears off. Then come babies, jobs, mortgage payments, home repairs, etc., etc. It is too easy to decide that you no longer love your spouse.

You want that new and exciting relationship you had when you first met. Please, please know life is all about decisions. I choose to love my husband today. I choose to overlook all of the irritations that I could let come between us. I choose to overlook all the things that could drive us apart. I choose to see all the things I fell in love with. I choose love. After all, isn’t this what Jesus wants us to do? Choose love. Every. Single. Time.

10. Pray for your husband.

I saved the most important for last. Pray for him often. Pray for him boldly. Lift him up to Christ Jesus every single day. Ask Jesus to fill his heart with love. Ask Jesus to protect his heart, his thoughts and his spirit. Pray for your husband from head to toe. This is the single most important thing that you can do to have a strong, loving marriage.

I hope these truths will help you, wherever you may be in your own journey.

Read a related story about my marriage in When a Demotion Saved My Life.

Stay in the Light and the Love always,

Eva

Visit my store for handmade cards and t shirts that will help you share God’s love.

The Day I Fell in a Box – Head First

October 23, 2017 By Eva Conner Leave a Comment

Have you ever fallen in a box? Head first?

Read about the day I fell in a box, head first. I fell in a box. There. The words are out! It was a beautiful day in December. My children were young and we were headed to a local skating rink for a birthday party. And we didn’t have a gift for the birthday child. This was the story of my life in those days. Running on all cylinders, going nowhere, and always unprepared.

I also want to add that during this time in my life, I was not walking with God. I did not have Jesus in my life and we were always living in a state of chaos. We were that family who arrived late for everything. And when we arrived we were a whirlwind of chaos so everyone knew we were there. Not good.

Here is what leads up to this embarrassing moment.

It was a beautiful day in December and my husband took our three small children out to the van to start getting them buckled in various car seats and booster seats while I was looking for something that we could give to the birthday child. Yes, last minute gift planning. Not good.

We had been hiding Christmas gifts for our kids in a large appliance box in our basement (will be referred to as “The Box” for the rest of the story). I knew we bought a newly released Disney movie and I knew it was in The Box.

So down I went.

The basement in this house we were living in at this time was very dark and dank. It had a low ceiling and you had to walk stooped. I hated going down there. I had to grab a bucket and turn it upside down to use as a step stool so that I could even reach in The Box because The Box was that tall. Remember the low ceiling. I had to stoop in this basement not standing on a stool so when I stood on the stool, the stooping was greatly increased. As I started reaching in The Box to grab a bag, that’s when it happened.

I lost my footing and tumbled head first into THE BOX.

If you can picture the type of box that a stove comes in, you know it is VERY STURDY cardboard. It does not bend or move with the weight of an adult leaning on the edge. It doesn’t give an inch.

So in I tumbled. Did I say it was head first? Well, it was.

For a moment, I panicked thinking this was how I would die. I would suffocate among the plastic bags holding all of my children’s dear Christmas gifts. I would be found with my feet sticking up in the air. My kids would find out their mom died and there is no Santa Claus all in the same moment. Not good.

I yelled for my husband but of course he’s in the car with 3 small children. Also, who could hear my muffled cry in this old dark basement when my head is stuck in plastic bags? Not good.

Thoughts jumbled through my mind in a blur. If I tried to turn myself around in the box, I might crush some very precious Christmas gifts. But eventually, somehow, I made it out of the box. My hair was disheveled. My clothing was disheveled. I was disheveled. Not good.

I go outside to get in the van with my family and by this time I’m angry. How could my husband not come to my rescue? How dare he not save my life? Of course, none of this is rational. It is pure insanity. But that’s how we were living.

Why do I share this embarrassing story?

I’m sharing this story because it taught me some lessons that I’d like to share with you.

1) Who are we trying to impress? People or God?

Who was I trying to impress with really nice gifts? Every party we went to, I had to have a nice gift. It was never enough to stick some money in a card. No, I had to embroider a sweatshirt, make a craft or something that took time that I did not have. I was a people pleaser. I never said no to anyone. And it wore me out. Today I have no problem saying no if it’s not God’s good for my life. We each need to reach this place in life. We are given only so many minutes in our lifetime. How do you want to spend your minutes? Pleasing people or pleasing God?

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3

2) Do we order the steps of our day or do we allow our day to happen?

I learned this the hard way as well. When we allow our day to just happen, before we know it it’s bedtime and we didn’t get anything accomplished. Do you know what I mean? However, if we are intentional about our day first thing in the morning, it’s easier to get things done. I’m a list girl. I love my to-do lists and they keep me on task.

Another thing that I try to do intentionally each and every day is to ask God to order my steps for that given day. When we invite God into our day, it’s amazing how much more we can accomplish! And His Word tells us He delights in the details of our lives. Wow! God delights in us.

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Psalm 37:23

3) What is the foundation we are on today?

Are we standing on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ or are we turned upside down in a box not able to even find our foundation? At one time in my life, my foundation was unstable and shifting all around me – depending on any given moment. Once I invited Jesus into my life, my foundation became stable and firm. I am on solid ground no matter the circumstances. In Christ, we do not have to fear anything! Not even death.

For no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 3:11

4) Where is our help coming from?

Is our help sitting in a van unable to hear or see us in our time of need? Or is our help ever present and always able to help? All too often, I expected my husband to step into the shoes that only Jesus could fill. This was not fair to him and it wasn’t fair to me either. Only Jesus can be our Savior and our Lord. Only Jesus can be our Rock. When I learned the God-given role my husband has in my life and stopped expecting him to be Jesus, my married life drastically improved.

I cannot rely on my husband to give me peace and joy. It’s simply not his role. Only Jesus can give us that peace and joy that we crave deep in our being. I urge you today to stand back and take a look at your marriage. Are you asking things of your spouse that only Jesus can give?

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.
John 14:27

5) When we do get saved, are we grateful or are we still angry?

When I finally made my way out of The Box, I was angry. I should have been grateful, relieved even. But I wasn’t. I was angry. And I projected that anger at my husband. I can see now how totally irrational that was but at that moment, I was angry. He didn’t come to my rescue. He didn’t even know I was in trouble.

But isn’t this true with each of us in life? We can be in trouble and no one knows. Not even those closest to us. So what do we do? We turn to Jesus. He is ALWAYS with us. His word promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. He ALWAYS knows when we are in trouble and He is always close to help.

God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
Psalm 46:1

When Jesus saves us, we need to be sure to lay down all the ugliness that is linked to our past – bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, insecurities, regret, guilt, shame. Holding onto these things will prevent us from being able to reach out and grab the new life that He desires to give us. Drop it all at the foot of the Cross. Our past – ALL of it – was taken care of the day that Christ died. Jesus purchased our past with His Blood and to look at our past accurately, we must look at it ONLY through the Blood. Looking at it any other way simply distorts and twists it.

Friends, if you are not walking with Jesus today, what’s holding you back?

If you need someone to talk to, reach out to your minister or someone close that you trust and know is walking with God. You can even reach out to me.

I can speak firsthand of the difference walking with Christ made in my life. It is the difference between day and night. Light and dark. It’s available for you just as it is for me. Reach out and grab it.

This is all that we need to know and believe for eternal salvation:

If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.
Romans 10:9-10

Stay in the Light and the Love Always,

Eva

When a Demotion Saved my Life…

August 22, 2017 By Eva Conner 5 Comments

A demotion in the world brought me a promotion in God’s kingdom.

Only God.

I’ve never felt led to share my full testimony until now. But this week, God is clearly telling me to “share it now.” I have learned over the years to simply be obedient. So here’s my story starting with a short video.

Since 1990, I’ve worked for a large law firm. I was 21 years old when I started as a legal secretary. I was also a full time student in college and was ready to take on the world. I have always loved clothes and shoes and I could not wait until I was out of college to get a full time job so I could afford the things I wanted. So I burned the candle at both ends.

Not long after I was hired in 1990, the firm hired a new executive director. He took me under his wing and off we went. Within a year, I received my first promotion. The next couple promotions came just as quickly. I had earned the favor of many because I was a hard worker and I went over and above what I was asked to do.

In 1992, I got married to my very best friend. In 1993, we had our first child. In 1995, our second child came along and in 1998 our third child was born.

Let me add another dimension to this story.

In 1995, we bought our first home. It was a small 2 bedroom home and we immediately went about remodeling it. We removed a wall with a full brick fireplace. My husband removed brick by brick of that fireplace including the chimney. CRAZY! As soon as we finished making that house beautiful, we sold it and bought an old farmhouse that had been built in the late 1800’s. We immediately set about remodeling this house as well.

Over the next few years, we ripped out just about everything we could in that house. We stripped it right down to the studs and re-wired, re-plumbed, hung drywall, and anything else you can think of. In the middle of this, we were both working full time with 3 babies. But I was determined to have a beautiful home. You know, a house that would be worthy of the magazine covers! So I kept pushing. We pulled many all-nighters to finish up last minute things to stay on schedule.

We came very close to losing our marriage because of this frantic pace that we set for ourselves.

But I still didn’t stop pressing forward in this big world.

In 2002, I had 3 children ages 3 to 8 and I was promoted once again. In 2002, we also decided to sell our farmhouse so we could build a new home. And that’s what we did. We rented for a couple years while we built our dream home which we moved in November of 2004.

Our kids were getting a little older and were very active in many sports so our “crazy” just shifted from home remodel to multiple ballfields every night. We did baseball, softball, football and basketball. We did travelling leagues and all-star leagues. Every evening and every weekend were packed full.

Through all of this, God is not part of our lives other than maybe on Easter and Christmas.

In 2008, I was promoted once again to the highest level within my department.

I was now the Director. We have offices in many different states so this position required lots of travel and long hours.

Ironically, 2008 is also when God started speaking to me and calling me towards Him.

Prior to 2008, I was aware of God but I had never accepted Him into my heart. From a young age, I remember being pulled toward Him. I would attempt to read the Bible but would get no further than Genesis chapter 1 (yes, that’s where I started each time because I didn’t know any better).

Even though I had an awareness of God at a young age, I never gave Him too much of my time and certainly not my heart until 2008.

In February of 2008, I had a routine surgery and was supposed to be back to work within a week or less. Something happened during the surgery and my body did not recover as quickly as most so I was laid out on my couch for 3 weeks.

But God. During this time He gripped my heart.

Clicking through the TV on a weekday morning, I found an older gentleman who taught the Bible verse by verse. He was in Second Corinthians and he was explaining law and grace. God used his words to change my heart forever.

God made Romans 8:28 come alive in my life. You know, the part that reads “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God.” He used a botched surgery to save my soul.

Why do I share all of this with you? Our testimony is what overcomes the enemy.

When we share our testimony with transparency and truth, God will use our words to set another free!

Don’t ever underestimate the power of your testimony.

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony.
Revelation 12:11

Since that time, I continue to learn more and more about the Word. I pray and ask God to guide me and lead me as I learn. If you don’t already have a hunger for the Word, ask God and He will give you a hunger that you can spend a lifetime trying to satisfy.

Getting back to my story, in late 2011 and into 2012, I grew dissatisfied in my job. Working long hours and carrying stress from the position weighed me down. That is when I knew I needed to make a change. God was gradually showing me that I needed to hop off the world-track.

In my heart, I knew I needed to be demoted.

It took me a couple of months to work up the courage to speak to my boss. The executive director who joined the firm at the same time that I did retired a few years before this. We had a new executive director who I liked and respected very much. One day, I had that discussion with him. I explained that I was in over my head and I needed relief that I felt would only come in the form of me stepping out of the lead role. At first, he told me he had confidence in me being able to continue doing the job.

I had to convince him I no longer wanted the job. This was scary because I could have been shown the door. But again, I work at a wonderful firm with wonderful leaders.

I received my demotion. And it saved my life.

Don’t ever be afraid to follow God’s lead. I could not afford to worry about what others would think if I got demoted. I couldn’t afford to be embarassed. My walk with God was too important to me. I knew I would be well when I obeyed His command. Little did I know how very well I would be!

I now report to the person who replaced me and I have a great relationship with him. The stress is gone and I can focus on the calling God has on my life – to teach and encourage other believers so they can rise up to their own calling. I’m also called to reach out to those who do not yet know Jesus.

By me sharing my story and sharing how Jesus works in my own life, I’m providing a way for God to transform lives.

It is through the sharing of our stories when God can work wonders.

Another thing happened in 2012. In addition to knowing God was leading me toward a job change, I also knew He wanted us to make a physical move. So we sold our dream home. God brought us to a nice home but it is not something that I ever would have chosen on my own. In fact, when we first bought our home, I wasn’t crazy about the design. But God. Over the last few years, He has given me a fondness for our house and it is now our home. We are settled and very thankful.

I put homes, possessions and positions above God.

This is nothing more than idolatry. Anything that comes before God is an idol in our lives. It’s not that He doesn’t want us to have nice things. It’s when these “things” are more important than Him in our lives that He gives us a choice.

Choose Him today over whatever He may be calling you away from in your life. You won’t regret it:).

Don’t allow the enemy to convince you that people do not want to hear your story.

That’s simply a lie from the master liar. God tells us just the opposite. Share your story. Be open and transparent. The things that you’ve walked through and the lessons you’ve learned along the way can be just what another person desperately needs to hear.

The verse below speaks about my life before Jesus. Before my demotion, I loved the world.

15 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.
1 John 2:15-17

Below, the Scripture speaks of where my life is today. I am humbled by how far God has brought me in a short while. I stand in awe of His great love for me. I vow to spend the rest of my life sharing my story as He directs.

Friends, I encourage you to share your story as well.

⁷I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. ⁸Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ ⁹and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. ¹⁰I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, ¹¹so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

¹²I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. ¹³No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

Stay in the Light and the Love Always,

Eva

Marriage – The Roads We Travel

June 23, 2017 By Eva Conner Leave a Comment

Don't let Satan in your marriage

God desires to work through each of us.

When we allow God to work in us and through us, He uses us to lift and encourage others. Fellowship and sharing are very important to God and should be to us as well. It’s when we share a word we’re given with others that we encourage and build one another up.

In the wee hours of the night I was thinking about marriage and images of roads kept popping in my head. Marriage, done God’s way, is wonderful. God wants us to put our spouse before ourselves, even before our children.

This is a tough one for moms. Especially today’s moms!

In my lifetime, I’ve seen a shift in who controls the family unit. When I was young, parents did not live their lives for their children. But now I see the complete opposite. Children rule the house. Children dictate what the parents are going to do and when they are going to do it.

Children are involved in so many activities, they need a personal assistant (MOM!) to manage their schedule. You know what happens to Dad… he takes a backseat to the children in Mom’s life. This happened in my own life. I can attest to the hurt and damage that spouses can inflict on each other because of neglect – whether it is intentional or unintentional. Thankfully this was many years ago in our marriage and we’ve done a lot of healing and growing since those years. But we are called to share our experience and our past heartache to help others avoid the same. We are all called to share our testimony and it is Biblical:

Through Christ, God has given us the privilege and authority as apostles to tell Gentiles everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey him, bringing glory to his name.

Romans 1:5

I’m sharing this word that God gave me to encourage you.

If your life is a little crazy and hectic because of your children’s activities, maybe you need to cut back so that you have more family time. More time with your spouse. More time around the dinner table without having to eat in the car on your way to the next activity. More time to just sit on the porch and listen to the rain with your spouse.

Your marriage is worth a thorough evaluation of your priorities. Marriages are being attacked by Satan more now than ever. Satan knows if he can attack a marriage, he can keep a powerful duo from charging after the lost and sharing Christ. When we’re caught in his snare, we are useless in avancing God’s kingdom.

What is the answer? Bring Jesus into your marriage and keep Him there.

Easier said than done, right? To have a marriage the way that God intended, we need to be intentional. We can’t take our eyes off of Jesus for one second. He needs to be involved in our marriage – and in every aspect. When both husband and wife are focused on Jesus, He ties our hearts together. Did you catch these words? Keep your gaze on Jesus – not on each other.

When our gaze is on one another instead of Jesus, we put our spouse above where God should be in our lives. This is not fair to anyone – us, our spouse and especially not our children. No one, not even our spouse, can take the place of God in our lives. God and God alone is to be above all others.

What road is your marriage on?

I mentioned earlier that I saw roads reflecting where we are in our marriage. The first vision was two people – husband and wife – standing back to back walking away from each other as in a duel. The only time they turned around to see each other was when they were taking a shot at one another. They were going opposite ways on the road.

The second vision was two roads that ran parallel to each other but they never intersected. The husband was on one road and the wife on the other. This reflects a husband and wife (or maybe it’s better to say a man and a woman) living two separate lives.

The last vision was two people on the same road, going in the same direction and travelling at the same speed. This is the Godly marriage. It’s not always easy to keep in sync but if you have a prayerful life, it is possible. Will you have the occasional bumps causing you to get out of sync? Absolutely! But when you pray regularly for your spouse and with your spouse, God will see that you get back in sync.

If your marriage is on the first or second road, don’t despair.

Get quiet before God and ask Him to change your hearts. Ask Him to put you on the same road as your spouse, going the same direction at the same speed.

Without God, a good marriage is impossible.

But with God’s presence and His love and grace, a good marriage is possible.

He replied, “What is impossible for people is possible with God.”

Luke 18:27

If you don’t already pray for your spouse, start doing so today. Pray for your spouse often. Pray with your spouse every day. It’s amazing how God will work in a person’s life through another person’s prayer and even more amazing how God will work in a marriage through united prayer.

Here’s a prayer for each of our marriages:

Dear Father,

Thank You for Your Word. You are so faithful to show us how to live every area of our lives if we will just take a minute to look in Your Word. Help each of us get more intentional about praying for our marriage and our spouses. Father, we ask that You create in each of us pure hearts and renew steadfast spirits. We ask that You turn our vision toward Jesus. Each day, Father, we commit our love and our marriage to You. Lord, protect our eyes from looking at anything that would detract our attention from our spouse. Help us to be pleasing and honoring to You.

Fill our hearts with Your love so that we can love one another as You do. Keep the enemy from our homes, from our marriage and from our children. We plead the blood of Jesus over our homes, our our relationships, over each of our lives and over the covenant of marriage that we made as one with You.

We ask that You guide our prayers. And we thank You and give You all the honor, praise and glory.

In Jesus name we pray.

Amen♥

Stay in the Light and the Love Always,

Eva