I cannot recall too many times in my life when I desired to be back in high school. I enjoyed my high school years but those years were a small stepping stone in my life leading me to where I am now.
I typically do not look backward as I move through life. My approach to handling life is living day by day. I’ve learned over the past couple of years not to worry about things that I cannot control – including my tomorrows. How many times does God instruct us to not worry about tomorrow!
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 (NIV)
“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
My daughter is graduating high school this month and is now in those final weeks of her high school life. She is having so much fun right now. I feel a longing to just briefly have those days back. I wouldn’t want to return to the age of 18 permanently. I just want to return to age 18 and have a couple of carefree, exciting, fun weeks! No demanding job; no laundry piled up and spilling out of the laundry room; no bills to juggle; no one counting on me to figure out “what’s for dinner”; no mother asking questions daily about Medicare; no teenage boys asking if their girlfriends can come over so they can slowly steal my boys away; and, no need for dieting because, let’s face it, at the age of 18, you can get by with so much more than you can at the age of 43. I am definitely not jealous of my daughter. It’s difficult to put into words. It’s almost a bittersweet feeling because I know life for her is just starting and before she has time to think, she’ll be helping me with my Medicare woes.
She recently made the comment that she wished she were six years older so she would be well on her way to having her own family. She dreams of the storybook life – the perfect husband, many beautiful children, a nice house, the luxury to be a stay-at-home mom so she can home school her children. Maybe we’ve watched a little too many TV shows from the 60’s? I’m a vintage TV watcher – anything with a happy ending.
What I desperately wish I could do is impart to her the wisdom I now have that I did not have at her age. I have a few “if only’s” in looking back at my life. However, this is not in God’s plan for any of us. No matter how desperately we want to give our children the life answers that we learned the hard way, it just is not possible. Their brains are not wired to accept this advice from their parents. They just have to experience it on their own. We have to trust that the foundation we’ve provided while they were under our protective wing is enough to sustain them through their journey.
This is an area of life where complete faith in God is a must for each of us!